I was sitting here worrying about how I was ever going to squeeze a little more guilt into my life when this just fell into my lap. So you don’t have to follow the link to see it, I’ll give you the headline:
Obese moms may be more likely to have autistic child, study suggests
This is my favorite part:
Until researchers know more, obese moms might want to take the new findings as another reason to lose weight, Krakowiak said.
“That’s the safest message,” she added. “It doesn’t hurt anybody to lose weight and it comes with other benefits to the mom. So losing weight not only will help you, but it also might potentially help your child to be healthier.
I think I may have dropped 10 pounds just reading that. Very helpful. Seriously, that’s all I was waiting for to lose weight. I just needed another reason. I wonder, if I lost the weight now, would it retroactively eliminate the autism? Oh, wait, I lost the weight two years ago and that was before the first diagnosis. So this info does nothing for me other than add to the crushing load of guilt that was already causing my knees to buckle. And I think I gained back the 10 pounds from the beginning of this paragraph with all of the Easter candy I stole from BamBam’s basket in an effort to stave off the guilt.
Okay, I know I’m being overly sensitive and probably unfair. So, in the interest of fairness, I will add a quote I liked much better from the same researcher in a different article:
She also noted that while the research found an association between obesity and autism/developmental delays, it did not prove that being obese causes autism or other brain problems in the fetus. The link may be indirect.
“It may not be the obesity itself, but other things that lead to obesity, such as genetics, or lifestyle, or diet,” Krakowiak said.
So, apparently, it’s not just that I’m fat, it’s the things about me that make me fat that caused my kids to have autism.
Nope, the fairness didn’t make me feel any better about it. I’m off to see if we have any Cheetos.
There is no limit to how stupid and insensitive the idiots doing research today really are. This is just one more proof of that.
Surely on some level you know, you did not cause your child’s autism. That’s ludicrous.
Okay. Deep breath. First, it was a fairly small sample size, not enough to be truly statistically significant, just enough to possible indicate further research. Second, it just shows a correlation, NOT A CAUSE! A correlation, if you haven’t taken statistics, just means that two things show a relationship between two different things. For instance, people who drink milk are more likely to want to vacation at a beach. (I just made that up, don’t quote me!) Drinking milk and going to the beach have nothing to do with each other in terms of one thing causing the other. So, IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT!! AT ALL!! Unless you spent your entire pregnancy wishing and praying for an autistic child, and even then I don’t think prayer works that way.
You just gotta let that guilt go. I call a moratorium on more guilt for mothers. I’ve wondered for the last 14 years if something I did or didn’t do caused my son’s hydrocephalus.
We cannot change the past, and I’m not saying we should if we could. Some things are beyond our control and that’s the way it should be.
give yourself a break and stop reading that stuff. It’s not helping!
WEBS. You certainly didn’t cause autism. There are plenty of autistic kids born to slender mothers. This is simply one more lead for researchers to follow up.
And don’t let the guilt ruin the joy of your kids.
I know. I really do know. But reading that horribly insensitive comment just really hit me today. I have a great respect for science and researchers, having been in the lab myself. I know that this woman, who I’m sure has never had an issue with her own weight, probably thought her comment was helpful. Most of the time I can let that stuff roll off my back, but not so much today. I wrote this post in a deep meep and decided to post it rather than delete. It’s better for me to share than stuff.
And I have a sinus infection, which is making the meeping quite squeeky.
I’m okay. I really appreciate your comments, though. It feels good to know you all have my back.
I saw this headline, too, and growled. Not helpful. Not productive.
Just repeat to yourself as needed: Correlation does not equal causation.
Science reporting in the news always distills down to the most crazy-making conclusion. As I said to my husband when we heard this, “Just last week the news was that age of the father leads to the genetic mutation for autism. Plenty of guilt to go around for both of us.” Really though, I try to reject that self doubt and blame. Not productive.
Pish. I’m not obese, and two of my boys are on the spectrum. I do believe that addiction, anxiety, and depression (from both well-stocked gene pools) played a greater role. And I’m not beating myself up about that. It is what it is. I read a more encouraging article yesterday that said the science is getting more specific. I like to think I got my children because God/the Universe decided I could help them.
Oh this freaked me out, too! I was overweight when i got pregnant last year and now i am thinking i have given my sweet pea autism!
In a related story, I have a colleague whose daughter is now a healthy 26yo mother of two but who suffered leukemia at age 11–colleague told me in confidence, I blame myself for her leukemia. I ate all those hot dogs when I was pregnant and then I let her eat hot dogs when she was little every week. If I just hadn’t done that—
So, say it with me–It’s NOT her fault. And it’s not yours. Or mine.
What Megan said.
And I’m with kate’s moratorium.
Ohgawd. I just had a huge sobbing fit yesterday over an equally “not my fault I did not do this to my babies” non-issue (except, ya know, when we’re inside of it it’s ALL MY FAULT). We can’t help ourselves! We accept that blame because we are their mothers.
Some days it’s way better than other days, and some days, we just eat all the fucking Peeps in the house.
Oh, was that just me then?
We heard about the study on the news and knew what your response would be..since I gave you the “guilt gene”, remember?
I was NOT fat when pregnant with you, because that great home town doc gave me diet pills since I was afraid of being fat – per the military doctors when I carried your brother.
YOU have helped me get rid of guilt, I hope that these great friends of yours are doing the same for you. Love you.
They did a study years ago in Chicago, I think, that found a rise in murders in the months of July and August. There was also a rise in ice cream sales in July and August. Thank goodness statistics is filled with perception or there may not be Ben and Jerry’s in the freezer because it can cause you to murder to people.
You are awesome in so many ways! When you see crap like this just laugh yourself silly.