I was looking over the latest newsletter from my older son’s kindergarten prep class when I saw the addition. Mother’s Day Tea would be 12:30 on Friday, May 16th. Oh [expletive deleted]. Do I have to go?
Let me back up so that you can understand my true dilemma, because it wasn’t really that I didn’t want to drink tea and listen to the songs my son’s class would most likely sing to the moms. Well, not entirely that.
See, last week I asked Sparky, at the suggestion of my therapist, for a night on my own at a hotel. Sparky said no. Followed by, “You need two nights because I really think you need to wake up there, have the whole day for yourself, and then go to sleep there with no one accosting you.” I seriously love that man.
Sparky told me to pick a weekend, but I had a better idea. His team has been working really hard lately (Sparky especially) and their boss just gave them five days off to use in the next two weeks. So I suggested I go to the hotel on Wednesday night and come home Friday afternoon. That way, the kids will be in school for most of the days that he’s caring for them. Much better than a weekend, where he would have no break until I got home. Bonus for me, too, because it’s less likely that he’ll be catatonic when I get back home.
I found an awesome-looking hotel and booked it for next week.
Then I got the newsletter. Crap. What’s that you say? Since I was planning to come home that afternoon anyway, what difference does a 12:30 appointment make?
A lot, actually. I’d have to actually look presentable, which means getting ready early and leaving the hotel by 11:30 at the very latest. I would have to take nice clothes – it is a tea after all.
So what, you ask?
So, I had plans, people. Fabulous, gorgeous plans for that afternoon. The hotel check out isn’t until 1pm and I planned to check out no earlier than 12:59. Then I was going to have a leisurely lunch and go for a massage. I’d pick up some dinner for the kids on the way home, something like pizza that they would not fight me on eating, and return to my family a refreshed, relaxed woman, capable of handling situations without yelling or breaking down into a sobbing heap on the floor. The serenity might even last until noon on Saturday, when BamBam would, once again, decide to change his own poopy diaper.
I don’t want to give up those plans. I need them. My family needs me to get them. I resisted the thought of changing the reservation to this week because it didn’t give me much time to get ready. I got the newsletter yesterday and today is Tuesday, after all. I’d need to leave tomorrow night.
I’m exhausted, I’m snapping at people, and I’m taking extra anxiety medication almost every day. Maybe this is the universe’s way of telling me I need to take care of myself RIGHT NOW.
But I’m not ready. I seriously considered skipping the tea. I know, I’d be the worst mother in the world. I don’t really care what the other parents in the class think of me. I don’t even care what the teachers think. But I do, very much, care what Zoo Keeper thinks. I’m pretty sure he would be crushed. And that would break my heart.
So I changed my reservation to this week.
Best. Mom. Ever.
You go and have a fabulous, refreshing time! I remember motherhood and that’s why I know, you deserve it.
And where the hell was I when they were handing out supportive husbands?
I went away when my girl was 18 months and it was the best thing ever. Have a great time! YOu are an awesome MOM! But you also need a break. Can’t wait to hear about it at B.
I’m thankful for that wonderful husband of yours and I wish him the very best luck. Hopefully he will remember to follow Ben when he goes up stairs!
Just wish you hours of relaxation and restful sleep so that you will feel some sense of relief and PLEASE get rid of that “bad mother thing”. You are the very best!
Wait. You changed your plans that you desperately need so as not to disappoint one of your kids and you titled this Worst. Mom. Ever. ??? Get a grip, girlfriend!! You are taking a break so that you can continue to be Best Mom Ever and you changed your break plans to stay being Best Mom Ever.
Now, when on your break (oh lordy I wish I were on one as well!) every time you start worrying or fretting about your boys say to yourself, “I left them in the good, competent, caring hands of their father who loves them. They are fine.” Repeat as necessary because, seriously, you need the time off! Enjoy the hell out of it!
LOL Karen – the worst mom ever title was because I was considering not going to the tea. I texted some friends to ask (jokingly) if that made me just the worst mom or if I was entering Mommy Dearest category. 🙂
It’s already done wonders because I am in a great mood today! I’m planning to disconnect from the outside world beginning around 7:00 tonight!
I went to a writer’s conference last Friday and missed my son’s Confirmation. I’m just trying to keep this Worst Mom Ever competition honest.
I love the “How I Failed Five Today” section of your blog. I laugh and nod in recognition every time. We can share the title. 🙂
Ooh! I’m gonna make us a trophy that we can share. Not this week, though. I can’t be bothered. 🙂
Yay! An actual trophy that doesn’t have a poorly rendered sports figure on top! I’m happy with a medal that can be mailed back and forth, depending on how horrible we are that month.
Oh, I was going to come in here and tell you NOT to change your plans. You think every mother is going to that tea? And you SO need this time – you’re right about what the Universe is telling you. As long as you can still go and get your two days, that’s okay, but seriously; taking time for you isn’t a luxury. It’s essential. You’re not going to have anything to give anyone else if you don’t. You know how they tell you to put the oxygen mask on yourself first on the airplane? That’s so you don’t pass out while trying to put one on your kid. PUT THE OXYGEN MASK ON. Screw the tea. 🙂
But at least you’re still going. 🙂
You’re so right. And I’m actually glad now that I switched to this week. I think the universe was telling me I couldn’t wait until next week. Like the oxygen mask; do it NOW.
Zoo Keeper has had anxiety lately about me being away, like when I go to the support group on Wednesday nights or when we get a sitter so we can have a date night. He’s a little ball of anxiety anyway, so I didn’t want to add to that. I was worried about telling him I’m going away this week even, but all he said was, “So I’ll see you Friday afternoon? Okay.” 🙂
I’m so glad you posted a comment here! Not just because I love hearing from you, which I do, but because there’s a book I keep forgetting I want to recommend to you. I’ll email you the title as soon as I find it. Unless I don’t find it in the next five minutes, because then it will have to wait until I get back from vacation. 🙂
When the last baby was about 3 and a half or so Dan gave me a day for my birthday. An entire freaking day!!! So I drove to the coast and watched a mural being painted. We had NO damn money, but gas cost less back then (20 years ago), it was otherwise all free. I sat on a curb for hours and just listened to the ocean and stared at that Whaling Wall appear before my eyes. It was bliss. And obviously memorable because I’m sharing it with you now. First break I’d had from the kids. Ever. Bliss, I tell you…..