I shouldn’t be writing this. I should be hard at work on my novel, as November 1 is the start of National Novel Writing Month. But Zoo Keeper just came home from school and, after reminding him to go straight to the potty when he got inside, peed in his pants managing to also soak his shoes and the floor. At least he was in the bathroom.

There’s no chocolate in my current diet, so I have decided to write this blog in lieu of screaming. And so I offer you details of Halloween at our house in 2012.

♣  8:40 am: Sparky and Zoo Keeper leave the house to walk to school. Zoo Keeper wears his Agent P costume (without the hat and duck bill) over his regular clothes as requested by his school. Yes, things happened before then, but I don’t remember what they were.

♣  9:05 am: Sparky returns to grab his breakfast and leave for work, reminding me that I’m already late to run my first errand before taking BamBam to speech therapy.

♣  9:25 am: Arrive at BamBam’s school to pick up his Halloween costume that was accidentally left behind yesterday. I mumble something under my breath about the fact that I couldn’t even get him to put it on for the Halloween party at school, and then move on because I don’t have time to dwell. Anymore. I text BamBam’s teacher to let her know we’re here.

♣  9:27 am:  Both of BamBam’s teachers come out to say hello. His fabulous special ed teacher compliments my costume (red shirt with the Star Trek insignia) and says to the other teacher, “She’s a super nerd, like me.” This is the ultimate compliment from a very cool lady. I heart her, but then, you all know that already.

♣  10:03 am: Arrive late for 10am speech therapy session. SLP is awesome, though, so it’s fine.

♣  11:10 am: Decide to take the cookies by my friend’s house after I pick up the candy.

♣  11:20 am: Pull into the grocery store parking lot and see that they also have cheap gas, so decide to get some on the way out. Drag a screaming BamBam from the car and into the store, past the grown man in a dog suit standing next to his un-costumed friend.

♣  11:30 am: Realize the man in dog suit was dressed as Willard and laugh.

♣  12:30 pm: Arrive home after dropping off cookies and realize I’m late getting dinner started. Sparky and I have both given up sugar, so we decided to have chili to keep some sort of normalcy. Thing is, the diet-approved chili needs to simmer for two hours and we’re supposed to eat at 5:00 and I have to go pick Zoo Keeper up at 2:00! Make lunch for BamBam and then start prepping like a mad woman.

♣  1:40 pm: Onions are cooked and garlic is minced, but don’t have time to brown the ground beef before leaving to get ZK, so I take the onions off the fire. Realize I haven’t eaten lunch yet.

♣  1:50 pm: Finish making my lunch (omelette with spinach and spaghetti squash), but no time to eat it before leaving the house. Coax BamBam into his shoes and leave for Zoo Keeper’s school.

♣  2:02 pm: Walk Zoo Keeper to car while noting he still has his costume pants on over his regular pants, but don’t ask him why.

♣  2:15 pm: As I take my first bite of my cold omelete, I hear screams coming from the bathroom. Turns out Zoo Keeper has peed all over both sets of pants. And on the step stool. And it’s seeped inside the step stool. And onto the rug in front of the sink. At least he took his shoes off first, I guess. I hear the phone ring as I clean up and take the clothes and boy upstairs for a bath. I throw the clothes in the washing machine with a prayer that I remember to put the costume pants in the dryer so they’ll be ready in time to leave for BC Maven’s house for trick-or-treating.

♣  2:30 pm: I come back downstairs to find BamBam calling out to my mother, which I take to mean she was the one who called and he’s responding to her message on the machine. I listen to the message and call her back to answer her question. BamBam is still calling her name, so I put it on speaker and let him talk to her while I eat my lunch and finish the chili.

♣ 4:30 pm: Sparky arrives home, prompting me to realize I never put Zoo Keeper’s costume pants in the dryer. He does it for me while I finish getting dinner ready for the kids.

♣  5:20 pm:  Sparky and I have managed to eat a few bites of dinner, get everybody into their costumes, take pictures of the kids, and are now in the car. Sparky is dressed as Dr. Doofenschmirtz and I only just realized that I forgot to get any pictures of him! Doh! Well, here are pictures of the kids:

Showing off the platypus tail that Sparky made.

Agent P and Super Grover!

Once again, Agent P and Super Grover!

♣ 6:00 pm: Friends are all assembled and we’re ready to set off on our adventure. We stop for some pictures first:

Cookie took this picture.

I especially like this pic because it looks like Cookie’s son, aka Captain Hook, has a glass eye.

See Zoo Keeper with that thing in his mouth? Remember that.

♣ 6:04 pm: I see that Zoo Keepers mouth is glowing and realize he has chewed through his glow necklace. Oh well, it’s probably not toxic. Much. On to trick-or-treating!

♣ 6:10 pm: We reach a house with a basket of treats out front. I tell BamBam to take one. He picks up the whole basket. He’s definitely my kid.

♣ 6:35 pm: BamBam begins to sternly admonish door openers, “I want TWO candies!” My pride wavers.

♣ 6:39 pm: Zoo Keeper requests to hold my hand as we walk because “I like you.” The other mothers awwww appropriately.

♣ 6:43 pm: We’re passed by a group of trick-or-treaters including a very cute Elmo.

♣ 6:45 pm: I look around and realize I don’t see BamBam. I call out to our group, which is spread out in front and in back of Zoo Keeper and me, asking if BamBam is with anyone. Someone shouts that he’s in the group ahead, but the group ahead says he’s not. Sparky is in the group behind and confirms he’s not there either. We see that the other group of trick-or-treaters, the one with the Elmo, has moved a few houses down the street. BamBam loves all things Sesame Street, so I believe he has followed Elmo in the darkness. I try to run, but Zoo Keeper is planted in place and will not release my hand. So it is Sparky who runs down the street to check. The seconds feel like hours, but finally he shouts that he has BamBam. Cookie asks if my heart is going to beat out of my chest. I realize it’s not, at which point I become almost thankful for Zoo Keeper’s accident in the bathroom because it’s what led me to take some anti-anxiety meds before we left the house.

♣ 6:55 pm: BamBam begins to scream at the doors that no one opens.

♣ 7:00 pm: Back at BC Maven’s house, the kids eat some candy while the grown-ups continue to chat a bit. BC Maven’s daughter shows us her new big girl bed she is so proud to sleep in. She should be, it’s quite fabulous.

♣ 7:18 pm: BamBam, who is playing by himself upstairs, begins to scream at the mere mention of leaving. I go through the common steps to get him to cooperate, but he’s having none of it. I end up throwing him over my shoulder and carrying him down to put his shoes on. He screams through it all, even all the way out to the car.

You know, despite accidents and screaming and losing children, all-in-all it was a pretty good Halloween. Good friends are priceless and these are among the best. I’m including Sparky in that, by the way.

P.S. If I used this blog in my word count for NaNo, I would have surpassed my goal of 1667 words for today by writing 1725 words. Sadly, only 281 of those words were actually for the novel.